The Justin Timberlake Show…I mean, The VMAs

Tonight the best of the best in the music industry all collided in Brooklyn for the MTV Video Music Awards!! After it was revealed that Justin Timberlake would be receiving the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, rumors that the almighty boy band NSYNC was going to be reuniting for a performance began to swirl! The twelve-year-old inside me burst with joy upon hearing these rumors and I so wished that they were true. At around 8:30 I headed over to my friend’s house to watch the festivities. After cracking open an ice cold Corona I settled onto the couch for the show. I had no idea what I was in for.

Lady Gaga opened the show with her song, “Applause,” and I, surprisingly, enjoyed it. The first time I heard the song I wasn’t really into it; I couldn’t understand what she was saying except for when she said, “applause.”  But this performance was true to form, and very entertaining.  Once Gaga put that wig on, it was over. “There she is,” we said.

Selena Gomez won the first award of the night. Don’t ask me what it was, I don’t remember. All I know is the boys from One Direction were there to give her the award and they looked good doing it.

And then there was Miley. Oh, Miley. I love her song, “We Can’t Stop.”  I’ve played it on my iPod approximately 4 million times since I downloaded it off of iTunes.  But…having a fun, catchy song does not excuse the performance we were forced to watch.  Miley had her ever present problem of keeping her tongue in her mouth, she was sans pants, and had a hair-do like Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black.  But that wasn’t even the worst part.  After her solo performance Robin Thicke joined her onstage for a duet of his hit song, “Blurred Lines.” This is where it started to get weird.  Miley ripped off her teddy-bear-chuck-e-cheese-looking onesie to reveal a nude two piece and a large foam finger.  While I’m sure this was a nod to Thicke’s music video (which I’m also not very fond of) it was an odd, kind of creepy performance.  Miley used her giant foam finger to touch Thicke, all over, as well as simulate some very interesting “dance moves”.

Now before I go any further I want to point out something. The problem I had with Miley’s performance had nothing to do with her risque clothing/dance moves. Get it girl, shake what your mama gave you.  I’m just questioning why…Miley is a beautiful, free, young woman who can do whatever she wants to do, but why is she trying so hard? We get it, you’re sexy..or at least you’re trying to be.  Sometimes less is more, though.  Sometimes, the harder you try the more stupid you look.  Google some of the reaction shots from the crowd during her performance.  You’ll see I’m not alone in my opinion.

Anyways, on to more positive things.  While awards are given during the VMAs, lets be real: it’s all about the performances.  While some stand out more than others, it was clear that one stood WAY above the rest. Justin Timberlake took the stage about an hour into the show to perform a medley of his greatest hits, solo and *squeal* with NSYNC!!  This medley of hits rounded out at about 20 minutes, which is a testament to JT in itself!  The fact that you have that many number one hits that you can sing for twenty minutes straight?? Go on with your bad self, Justin.  And, honestly, if that performance didn’t convince everyone that he deserved that Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, I don’t know what will.  He is simply amazing, and I am still in awe three hours later.

A lot of people were upset that NSYNC only sang as a group for a total of maybe two minutes, but I feel that we all need to remember a few things: this performance was not an NSYNC reunion. NSYNC reunited for Justin Timberlake’s medley of his greatest hits.  This performance was purely to celebrate JT in all his gloriousness, not to promote NSYNC, the band.  So all y’all simmer down over there.  I was an NSYNC fangirl through and through, but you gotta give justice where justice is due.  Justin Timberlake is the President of Pop.

To be frank, the rest of the show was a bit of a blur to me.  I remember Taylor Swift inevitably won an award for her video for “I Knew You Were Trouble,” and inevitably threw shade at the person who inspired the song.  I remember Kanye had a slightly dark, but pretty entertaining performance…couldn’t tell you what song it was though.

Finally, the last performance of the night was upon us.  And it was interesting, all through the show we were given little snippets and teasers of Katy Perry preparing for her performance of her new song, “Roar,” to close the show.  So after seeing all these little teaser trailers I was really ready to watch this performance.  Katy was set up in a boxing ring under the Brooklyn Bridge (pretty cool) and had a Million Dollar Baby vibe going on…you know aside from her tiger sports bra and flaming shorts.  The performance was decent; Katy was beautiful and she sounded great, but I think Gaga’s performance was better.

All in all, this was a very memorable VMAs, and I think there were a few historic moments we will not soon forget.

Famous moments or infamous moments? You all can be the judge of that.

“Crimes of Fashion”

Going green seems to be the new “it” thing to do now-a-days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about saving the environment and doing my part to make sure that penguins don’t get stuck in those plastic things that come with a six pack of Coca-Cola. But apparently, recycling clothes and outfits is a crime in this world. I don’t understand.

I just saw an article about Jennifer Aniston wearing a red bikini in Mexico that she has been previously photographed in, GASP. They called her a “repeat offender”, likening her to a common criminal for a BIKINI. Who cares how many times someone wears an article of clothing or an outfit?? Just because someone can afford to buy a different bikini for every day of the week doesn’t mean they have to! Maybe Jennifer really likes that bikini and she thinks its flattering. Who the heck cares how many times she wears it??? You go girl, wear that bikini wherever you want. I mean, that’s what Leann Rimes does.

I wear the same pair of pants four days in a row. Sue me.

Lazy Sunday Boredom

It is Sunday. I am lazy/bored. You’re welcome.

For the past four years I have worked as a hostess in a Mexican restaurant in Atlanta. Some days my job is easy and I can bare it, but other days…I want to kill everyone. Here is a list of things that are guaranteed to get under my skin at the hostess stand:

1. When guests ask me if there is air conditioning outside on the patio

“Hello, would you all like to sit inside or outside?”
“Y’all got air conditioning out there?”
You know what, no. Only when mother nature decides to give us a soft breeze.

1.5 Also, when people ask me how it feels on the patio

“Would you like to sit inside or outside?”
“Oh, how does it feel outside?”
You don’t know what it feels like outside? I’m sorry, I thought you just came in from outside..

2. When people try to sit themselves

“Alright, you can follow me right this way.”
“Okay where do you want to sit, honey?”
Oh, you’re going to sit yourself? I thought that’s what I was getting paid for, but alright.

3. When people try to give me their bill

“Here, I need to pay.”
Uh, does it look like I have a cash register or a credit card machine up here? This is not Cracker Barrel, you pay your server.

4. When guests complain to me about their service, but don’t want to talk to a manager

“I just want you to know that I had the worst service I’ve ever had.”
“I apologize about that, would you like to speak to my manager?”
“No thanks, I just wanted you to know.”
Alright, well I can’t do anything to help remedy that situation, so have a good night ma’am. I must have a sign on my forehead that says, “Complain to me!”

5. When people try to order food/drinks from me

“You’ll be at this table right here, you all enjoy your meal.”
“Hey can I get a frozen margarita with salt and a small queso?”
“Your server will be right over for you ma’am.”
I AM NOT YOUR SERVER.

6. When guests constantly ask me how much longer their wait time is

“Excuse me, do you know how much longer for my table? We’ve been waiting for a while.”
“When you checked in ten minutes ago I told you it would be half an hour, so you still have about twenty minutes left on your wait time.”
So calm your ass down.

7. When guests wander around the restaurant looking for empty tables

“Excuse me, I see empty tables in here. Why are we having to wait?”
If there is an empty table and I am on a wait, believe me, there is a reason. I wouldn’t make you wait for a table if you didn’t have to. Trust me, I want you out of my face as soon as possible.

Alright I’m done for now. If I think about it took much longer I might have a rage blackout.

Royal Babe

Kate Middleton gave birth today guys. I’m unusually excited about a total stranger giving birth. There are two things I know for sure:

1) I can’t wait to see this little baby, and I hope he’s nice and chubby

2) They better not name him some crazy name like Edwin or something.

That’s all I have to say about that.

—————————————————————————————————————–

UPDATE: the fact that Kate Middleton basically did a press conference 20 hours after giving birth proves that she is, in fact, Super Woman. And I thought it was Beyonce all this time.

AP Britain Royal Baby

Your Ultimate Guide to the 10 Best Episodes of “Friends”

I was only 14 years old when the final episode of Friends aired on NBC, but I’m obsessed with it. I own all ten seasons, have watched every episode approximately 1 billion times, and I own the Friends SceneIt? game. So here, in no particular order, are the ten best episodes of Friends: (SPOILERS AHEAD)

1. “The One With All the Cheesecakes” S7, ep 11

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The interaction between Rachel and Chandler in this episode is what makes it one of my personal top ten. They don’t get a lot of story lines for just the two of them so I enjoyed this episode. Plus, who doesn’t get a little crazy over cheesecake? I wish Little Momma’s Bakery was a real place.

2. “The Pilot” S1, ep1

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This is when we meet all of our Friends!! We’re introduced to every character and the dynamic of the group starts to form. Plus Rachel wears this awesomely bad 90’s wedding dress!

3. “The One With Ross’s Wedding” S4, ep23/24

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“I, Ross, take thee Rachel..” DOH! We all wanted Ross to be with Rachel, but maybe not quite in this way. We all felt bad for Emily until she started being a complete crazy biotch in season 5. Bonus: We find out Monica and Chandler got together!!

4. “The One With the Red Sweater” S8, ep2

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At the end of season 7 we learn that Rachel is pregnant! She refuses to tell anyone who the father is until she’s tells him first. Joey, Phoebe, and Monica find a red sweater that belongs to the father and Phoebe is certain that it’s Tag’s. This is one of the greatest episodes because we find out that the father of Rachel’s baby is actually Ross! Finally, maybe these two kids can be together like the universe has planned!!!

5. “The One Where No One’s Ready” S3, ep2

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“Look at me, I’m Chandler. Could I be wearing anymore clothes?” The cool thing about this episode is it’s actually played in real time. The entire episode takes place in Monica and Rachel’s apartment, but for some reason the best episodes are when the six Friends are all just hanging around.

6. “The One With the Mugging” S9, ep15

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Ross and Phoebe get mugged and it brings back bad memories for Ross who was mugged as a child. We soon find out that it was actually Phoebe who mugged Ross when he was young and stole his backpack with the original artwork for his comic book, Science Boy! I like this episode because it ties Phoebe into the earlier lives of the Friends. It’s kind of a bummer that during the flashback episodes only Monica, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross get to participate.

7. “The One With All the Resolutions” S5, ep11

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It’s the beginning of 1999 and all the Friends make New Year’s resolutions for themselves. Monica’s is to take more pictures of everyone together, Joey’s is to learn to play the guitar, Rachel’s is to gossip less (which is hard once she finds out Monica and Chandler have been sneaking around), Phoebe’s is to fly a commercial jet plane, Chandler’s is to make fun of his friends less, and Ross’s, to Chandler’s dismay, is to try something new every day. To our delight, Ross decides to buy a “really good smelling pair of leather pants”. David Schwimmer does some of his best physical comedy in this episode, I crack up every time I watch it.

8. “The One with the Prom Video” S2, ep14

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After so  much will they, won’t they, Rachel and Ross finally get together! After watching Rachel and Monica’s high school prom video, Rachel realizes that Ross was going to take Rachel to prom after her date apparently ditches her. He’s her lobster!! Bonus: we get an awesome flashback episode where Monica is fat, Ross has a perm, and Rachel has her original nose!

9. “The One with the Proposal” S6, ep 24/25

*Apr 30* Vue
Chandler wants to propose to Monica but he wants it to be a surprise. So in order to throw her off the scent he pretends like he doesn’t ever want to get married. This makes Monica second guess their entire relationship and reach out to Richard. Just when Chandler thinks he’s ruined everything, he comes home to find Monica standing in their candle filled apartment. She says, “You wanted it to be a surprise.” Chandler has one of his rare emotional scenes and I almost cried…okay I did cry. I had something in my eye, okay!

10. “The Last One” S10, ep17/18

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Because, duh. Ross and Rachel are finally, absolutely, together. Monica and Chandler have their babies and they’re moving into their dream house. Phoebe married Mike. And Joey..gets a spin off. This episode ties up all the loose ends, and was really satisfying for a fan as a series finale. Bonus: we find out that Ross spent a summer in college with his Grandmother in that apartment while he tried to make it as a dancer!!

10 Things People from Atlanta Hate

In 2008, when I was 18, I moved into the city to go to school and I have lived here ever since. Even though I am only at the ripe old age of 23, and have really only lived in Atlanta for five years, I’m an Atlantian through and through. And as an Atlantian I can tell you that there are ten things people from Atlanta hate…

1. When people call our city “Hotlanta”

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I can promise you this, no one that is from Atlanta is going to call it “Hotlanta”.

2. Marta

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Really any city, public transit system is probably just as awful, if not worse. But that doesn’t make Marta any better. Plus, who doesn’t love the smell of hot urine in the morning? That’s every morning in Marta.

3. Fickle Summer Weather

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It’s always hot and humid, that you don’t have to question. But one minute it will be bright and sunny, and the next its pouring down rain. This is an almost every day occurrence, yet its impossible to plan for it.

4. Traffic

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For some reason rush hour traffic in Atlanta starts at 3:00 pm…

5. When your friends from high school come home from college and say, “Man I’ve missed Atlanta!”

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Uh, last time I checked you live outside the perimeter (OTP). That’s not Atlanta.

6. When restaurants don’t serve sweet tea

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We gotta have our sweet tea, y’all.

7. Pollen

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Come spring time the city is blanketed with this powdery, yellow stuff. You’d think it would be better after a little rain, but it’s not. Now the city is covered in runny yellow water, just as unappealing. And don’t even try washing your car until May.

8. Our state’s claims to fame are the Real Housewives and Honey Boo Boo

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“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ a little gay, everybody’s a little gay.” -Honey Boo Boo (contrary to this post, I love this quote)

9. The Playoffs

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We can’t seem to make it past the playoffs. The Falcons have only been to the Super Bowl once back in 1999 and they lost to the Denver Broncos 34-19. The Braves haven’t been to a World Series since 1995 when they beat the Cleveland Indians with a series score of 4-2. But we will proudly do the tomahawk chop and the dirty bird until our arms fall off.

10. No Chick-fil-a on Sundays

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Ok so I cheated and that’s not exclusive to people from Atlanta, but we do hate it.

I’m Still Here

Well hello boys and goils, and welcome back to the world of the weird.  It’s been a while since my last post, but I have finally found my way home.  So much has happened in the last six months I could probably write for the next twelve hours without stopping. But I won’t make anyone read that. Instead of a novel, in order to get back in to the swing of and things and get my feet wet, I wanted to propose a theory.

Remember when Joaquin Phoenix announced that he was quitting acting to start a career in hip hop? And then we started seeing him make super weird public appearances? And he had really crazy hair and basically looked like he could be homeless or living out of his car or something? No? Let me refresh your memory…

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He made a very strange appearance on the Late Show where Letterman continuously made cracks about his beard, his hair, and his strange behavior. Joaquin even took the piece of gum he was chewing on and stuck it right on the corner of Letterman’s desk! Most people started to get a little worried about Joaquin, especially after this appearance, and righty so. Or so we all thought.

Not soon after it was revealed that Joaquin was actually in character for months shooting a movie called I’m Still Here, directed by Casey Affleck.  People were shocked, surprised, and even amazed by Joaquin’s performance. He really had the world believing that he had gone off his rocker.

Now that we’re all reminded about that wacky Joaquin Pheonix hoax, let’s talk about someone in the media today who also might be a little off her rocker: Amanda Bynes.

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It all started sometime last year when Amanda was continuously getting into car crashes and fender benders and was starting to get a reputation with law enforcement.  She deleted and reactivated her twitter account so many times I couldn’t even count them.  Then her behavior switched from “child-star-all-grown-up-and-acting-out” to, quite frankly, something a little darker.  She started tweeting crazy things and calling people ugly on her twitter account. She would see pictures in the tabloids of herself that she didn’t like so she threatened to sue certain magazines for writing stories about her. She even claimed some of the pictures of her out in the public were not actually her but an impostor Amanda, masquerading around New York City pretending to be her. She started sporting crazy wigs and claimed that she was starting a hip hop career….anything starting to sound familiar yet??

Basically, what this whole post is suggesting is that maybe, just maybe, could this whole thing be a hoax? Is Amanda just playing a huge joke on America and we’re all going to find out that all this crazy, erratic behavior is actually just Amanda going deep into character for a movie??

Honestly, I highly doubt that this is that case, but a girl can dream. But if we do find out that Amanda has been fooling us, I’m going to start a petition to get this girl an Oscar. What a performance of a lifetime.

Best of 2012

For the third installment of Pop Culture Candy, we decided to write a rap with some of the best stories in pop culture this past year.  The full lyrics are listed below!

Best of 2012!

Lots of great things have happened this year
inside the pop culture hemisphere.
So we compiled a list for your listening pleasure
the style of which we can’t even measure.

Poor Amanda Bynes and her downward spiral,
pictures of her car crashes all goin’ viral.
Retired from acting, and deleted her twitter.
She’s all, “Amanda, please!” More like, “I’m a quitter.”

Kristen Stewart cheated with her Snow White director.
Fairest of them all? Hell, naw. Man collector.
Poor Rob Pattinson his world set on fire.
In the words of Will Ferrell, “She’s a trampire!”

The Biebs and Selena teen pop royalty,
then Justin’s all like, “so…dueces shorty.”
Just a few days later, together they were sighted.
Thank God the King and Queen have been reunited!

Miley’s new hair cut fills her with joy,
but some think she looks a little like Draco Malfoy.
Any lesser woman would have felt ashamed,
but we already know that she can’t be tamed.

American Idol got itself some new judges.
But Nicki and Mariah already throwin’ punches.
Randy’s like, “Yo dawg. Come on, Nicki.
Why aren’t y’all BFFs like Simon and Demi?”

This year Michael Phelps has retired from swimming.
But like Charlie Sheen, he’s still winning.
Spending his days with girls and champagne,
and, of course, he still has his Mary Jane.

Lots of great things have happened this year
inside the pop culture hemisphere.
So we’ll leave it at that, this rap we can shelve,
cause that’s the very best of two thousand and twelve!

Royal Bump Watch

Yesterday it was announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is with child!! That’s right, Kate Middleton has a bun in the oven! She has been under constant speculation, basically since her marriage to Prince William in 2011, and now the world can finally rejoice! A royal baby is on the way!

I, for one, cant wait until there are royal play dates between the babe and Victoria Beckham’s daughter Harper. Or Blue Ivy! She’s got her own kind of royal status here in the states.

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I bet she is going to be like Cameron Diaz in What To Expect When You’re Expecting. She’s going to be this gorgeous, glowing pregnant woman who makes it look so easy and effortless. She’s going to make all the other pregnant women jealous. We’re all going to want to hate her. But we can’t. Because she’s perfect. Just like Taylor Swift.

Either way, for the next couple of months the world will be fascinated by the growing belly of one Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

Just Say No

On Friday, teen pop sensation Justin Bieber was awarded a Diamond Jubilee medal by the Prime Minister of Canada for “significant contributions and achievements by Canadians.” Justin seemed thrilled to accept this great honor, so he made sure he dressed to impress..

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…in his dirty t-shirt and overalls.

Really Biebs?! You want people to take you seriously but you show up to receive this Diamond Jubilee honor in an outfit that makes you look like a train conductor?? Further more, it looks like you went to the bathroom in a hurry and forgot to buckle your right side back up again. I didn’t even know people still wore overalls in public anymore. Normally I can get on board with the Bieb’s style, but this is too much. The sad thing is, someone is going to think this is cool. And somewhere, some buyer for Macy’s is going to decide that the world needs to be reintroduced to the joys of overalls because if Justin Bieber can wear them, they must be fashionable, right?

Wrong. Just say no to overalls, y’all.